Nominations for 2008 Undead Person of the Year

(This was originally posted on the main site, www.agentrustybones.blogspot.com on December 24, 2008.)

This year, I am going to be taking nominations and votes for an Undead Person of the Year, a selection for which will take place on New Years Eve.

This award will honor the most influencial and/or important undead person of 2008. Because I am the author of this award, I will recuse myself from any consideration for the award.

The winner of this honor wins nothing tangible, just the fame (or infamy) of being named the Undead Person of the Year for 2008. Below are the initial nominees with some remarks about each nominee and why they may qualify for this award this year. Feel free to comment on this post with your votes or with additional nominees. The final list (in Top Ten format) will be posted on New Year's Eve:

1) Dick Cheney: Until tonight it has been a closely guarded secret that Vice President Dick Cheney actually died soon after the 9/11 attacks. Due to concerns over our nation's security being left in the hands of George W. Bush, a decision was made to bring him back to life in the 'undislcosed location' where he had been taken to.

2) Vladimir Putin: Mr. Putin's conversion to undeath is far more recent than Mr. Cheney's. He willingly underwent the conversion to undead form in order to more effectively rule from behind the throne.

3) Fidel Castro: The Dictator for Life of Cuba is known for outliving several US presidents who were waiting for him to die. Now we know why he keeping winning.

4) Osama Bin Laden: President Bush once claimed that he would bring back Osama Bin Laden dead or alive from Afghanistan. The next president will have to accept him either dead or undead. Mr. Bin Laden no longer has to worry about that niggling little kidney condition.

5) Amy Winehouse: Remember all of those headlines about how Amy Winehouse had died, but they were later claimed to be false? Well, they weren't false. But on the positive side, the effects of cocaine and alcohol addiction are far less adverse for an undead person.

6) Michael Jackson: After oodles of plastic surgery, skin bleaching treatments, and years of striving to change his body, Mr. Jackson finally succeeded in taking the ultimate step in self preservation. His next Thriller video will be a documentary.

7) Keith Richards: The ultimate undead rocker. Mr. Richards has found it much easier to keep up with Mick Jagger since he took the plunge into undeath.

8) Paul McCartney: Paul McCartney really did die in 1967. He was simply the first of several famous musicians to discover that life after death can be pretty damn good. It is, however, no guarantee of marital bliss.

9) Hugh Hefner: Ever wonder how Hugh Hefner can continually satisfy so many gorgeous young women, even as he supposedly ages? Let's just say that Hugh doesn't need any little blue pills to keep it up.

10) William Clay Ford: Only a zombie could sit through a historically winless NFL season and not be so enraged as to want to fire everyone associated with his team.

So these are my initial nominations. If any others come light in the coming week, I'll post them in comments as well. Good luck to all of our nominees, I just know that they are waiting with fetid breath the outcome of this award selection process.